You want Self-Acceptance out of life. You might
doubt yourself and have little self-confidence.
You may seem normal on the outside, but
internally you may be an insecure mess. Word of
advice: learn to love yourself for who you are
and don't try to change yourself for others.
Being who you are not will only make it hurt
more in the end.

Color: Green
Symbol: Leaf
Element: Air


*What Do You Want Out Of Life?* (5 detailed answers + anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

he...-my ipod gave up on life.

a conversation with a friend..helping me to cope... Ha! dramatic

mihk vergara : sorry 'bout your ipod then.
shar : but..how am i to save the world...without sounds?
shar : i consider him my apprentice
shar : without him....im half a hero
mihk vergara : a moment o' silence then, for your better half.
mihk vergara : ...
mihk vergara : ...
mihk vergara : ...
shar : i think he'd rather hav a moment of noise. his life was full of music. fun and laughter
shar : noise would be the better way to say goodbye
mihk vergara : but his soul isn't dead. You got backup of the songs?
shar : yea i do..but now..i cant bring them with me...wherever i go...whenever i save people
mihk vergara : then he's not really gone. think of it as a change of costume, as we say in the superhero biz.
mihk vergara : he'll be back.
shar : blah. i loved him for all his dents and scratches. i dnt want a new one
mihk vergara : damn. you drive a hard point ms. tan.
shar : hahaha...cge na nga...since thers nothing else i can do to save him...
shar : i will just have to accept the fact that...
shar : he's gone..
shar : for the meantime...

i'd like to think that he's just resting for the night. he'll be up and kicking tommorow morning to give me joy.

too late...everthing and everyone got to me.

im really starting to wonder what the line...."astig ka talaga, shar" means.

is it some kind of a mockery?
or is it a legit complement?

haha

what is it with this past month?
everyone seems to have an ultra-serious-life-altering dilemma.
it has been almost everyday that i see my friends drunk, crying, passed-out, bitchin, v'd, spaced-out, hysterical, depressed....and the list goes on and on.

is it brought upon by the exsistence of this never ending hell hole we call school?
is this happening just because it's hell week and everyone's stressed?
maybe there's this cosmic thingie...planets lined up in some freaky unusual way.

well....i think this has to stop. haha before i catch on.

but on the other hand...im starting to see that maybe...MAYBE...my depressing i-dont-want-to-live-anymore stage happend ahead of my friends so that i can be here to help them.

i mean...i learned a whole lot from the past couple of months. hell...it turned me into a different version of myself. as i would want to see it...it made me the stronger and tougher shar.

MAYBE the older version of myself wouldn't be able to help them as much.
MAYBE i suppose to share all that i've learned.
MAYBE im suppose to drive all of my friends into wanting to be their own better versions.
MAYBE....hahha

well...basta..shit happens. we dont have a choice but to accept and face them. that simple.
life is an eternal struggle. all we can do is adapt and work to come out better.

like what i always say....with all the problems...if we continue to stick it through...we're all going to be superheroes.
...and super shar is on her way =) hehe

cheer up!...

i use to love it when it rains.

i mean...
the streets appear to get cleaned (well...i know it doesn't...but it looks like it)
you get this overwhelming feeling of comfort and security from the breezy wind.
i have a blast staring at the droplets slowly filling up and then dripping down the car window.
it makes my bed seem extra fluffy and cold.
it's nice to cuddle up with a special someone..or a jacket or pillow at least.
it goes perfectly with my morning cigarette and coffee.
it even makes music sound better.

i miss that. ha!--emo-mode =)

it's just sad that it has been raining everyday for the past week, and yet i don't feel the same enthusiasm as i once did for it.

i now just only see the bad side of rain.
urg...
i don't get to wear slippers.
it ruins my shoes...and turns my feet orange.
jeans becomes a must...and i hate wearing jeans!
my hair gets icky
you have to bring an umbrella and carry it around all day
it makes me feel alone and lonely
my clothes get muddy from all the puddles
i dont know...but its just sooo gloomy and heavy

i used to be excited to get up from bed when it's raining...but now..it just drags me down. it makes me wanna just stay underneath my blanket and spend the rest of the day with my pillows.

AHHH haha...whats up kaya? why the sudden change? oh well...hope it changes back. i soooooo soo soo soo so wanna go back. but no...no shar, you dont have a choice but to toughen up and deal right>?? haha! no time for sulking....this should be the end of this.

....ohhh...and don't you (whoevers reading) dare mock me tommorow...minsan lang naman ako emo eh..haha. just been a shitty night.

ohhhh...it's been a while since i last talked to myself...well..wrote to myself (technically)...and for the first time--to write something that others too can read. waha! people might be thinking that my livejournal is crap..since there's nothing posted...well, for your information--to: whoever's reading, my previous entries were too dramatic, that id rather keep them for my own viewing pleasure haha!

leanne told me that this journal would be theraputic...so i used it to write sad shitty stuff....but then, now...i realized that it's also quite useful when you're bored...and would want to talk to yourself......so..dun dun dun...here i am!!...now on display for the public's eye hahaha

but...this livejournal isnt quite the same as the others i've seen and read..the difference is...: i am no poet. i am no writer. you will not see any clever one-liners nor quotable quotes. what you might probably see on the other hand, are words spelled incorrectly..a display of bad grammar..and a lot of misplaced periods (.) and commas (,) =)

ocassionally (if im not too tamad, that is), i may display genuine emotions and feelings...tell true stories...and great jokes...like now..: "pano mag-racing ang bananas?...pano?...turon turon turon turon..." aw shucks...d pala pwede mag-joke dito. ask me when you see me...il tell you the joke in person!

...this is fun! hahaha..thanks leanne, for nagging me to write here. i'm amusing myself. haha wohooooooooooooooooooooooo

'til next time!....